Voices

Yesterday, I went to the Surrey show. I love to see the donkey judging and was pleased to see this lady’s donkey win second prize. I photographed her last year as I like the way she seems to be almost at one with her donkey and the ‘retro’ clothes take you back to an earlier time.

I came across her in the paddock area and got chatting. Although the looks a bit stern in this photo she was very friendly and obviously loved her animals. This year she had a young colt and at the judging I could see its behaviour was ‘challenging.’ She looked distracted like a Mum with an errant child but she just walked the donkey round in a circle each time it misbehaved.

I asked her if donkeys every really knew who their owner was and if presented with a new one whether they would immediately adopt the new boss. She said that after a while working with a donkey they get used to your voice. They will not immediately accept a new voice.

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me;

John 10. 27

Nearly there

As we come to the end of Lent it might be worth having a quick look at what fasting is about. There is so much confusion. It is not a total giving up of food. It is not a hunger strike. St John Chrysostom says fasting has two functions: the first 'is to break our attachment to material things. There is nothing wrong with such pleasure ( food ) but when we do without food we are reminded that the only true and lasting source of joy is spiritual.' Secondly it is to express solidarity with the poor and urge us to generosity.

Bishop Kallistos tells a story of when he was the more modestly named Peter Ware and an undergraduate in digs. He told his landlady of his fasting. One day enquiring what he could or could not eat the landlady shouted up the stairs, 'Mr. Ware, are you still on your diet?'

Look before you leap

A while back I had to paint my floor. I did it in sections to allow for moving the furniture and allowing me a way out. I was expecting my cat to walk all over the wet areas and leave paw prints like film stars leave footprints in concrete. However, he impressed me as he carefully trod only on the dry sections. Donkeys have a name for being stubborn but they also have a highly developed sense of survival and if someone wants them to do something risky on a mountain pass they won’t. Looking ahead is important. We usually learn the hard way. 

As Christians the perils for us are often unseen: pride, self delusion, despondency, apostasy and other hidden dangers. These need the eyes of faith and some good Christian buddies too. Fortunately we can see many of the dangers ahead.

The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty. Proverbs 22.3.

About turn

It was I believe Abraham Lincoln who said that when a nation turns from God it turns to heroes. There are heroes and heroes. A recent poll taken globally put Bill Gates, the computer billionaire at number one, President Obama at number two and the Pope at number three. Given Bill Gates’ ‘benign capitalism’ one can accommodate this choice but the most alarming was the most admired Britain who turns out to Steven Dawkins. As well as being a celebrated scientist in the area human biology Dawkins is equally well known for his atheism. His atheism is more than just a person belief but a cause that seems to drive Dawkins. His book The God Delusion which sets out to prove the non existence of God has sold two million copies. 

It is quite staggering to see the switch in in the UK in a short hundred and fifty years. We have gone from being a country with Christian missionary zeal to pretty much apostate. In the Commons in Victorian Britain a politician could take a stand on an issue because of the shared faith of the country eg on slavery. Now a politician can only argue in terms of the ‘common good’ having to take into account a variety of faiths and practices that late 19th Century Britain would have dismissed and in some cases found abhorrent. 

So how do the minority, believers, respond? Perhaps by quoting the Psalmist.

Preserve me, O God, for in Thee I take refuge. I say to the Lord, ‘Thou art my Lord; I have no good apart from Thee. ‘  Psalm 16. 1.2.

And how does God see us? 

‘As for the saints in the land, they are the noble, in whom is all my delight. ‘ v 3 

I listened to the radio today and heard a woman exultant that she was being allowed to be married in a ‘church’ of scientology. I am no expert but my view of scientology is that it is a sort of way of coping with life by a series of strategies. Few could deem it a religion. No longer satisfied with allowing two people of the same sex to be married in church the demands increase.

It made me think of the words of St John Chrysostom who examined way back in the fourth century what gifts politicians have.  In the case of gay marriage some of our present day leaders have exulted in the ‘freedoms’ newly permitted ( and no doubt the popularity it brings them in aligning themselves to the issue. )

But whether they ( leaders )  have natural gifts, there is another type of gift which surpasses all others: the gift of knowing right from wrong, and the courage to chose what is right. This gift is not given at birth St John goes on but is nurtured through reflection, education, prayer and practice.

It would be better that our leaders were poor in natural gifts, but rich in this moral gift, than that they exuded authority and wisdom.

Most politicians and many clergy these days seem to strive to be relevant rather than seek the haven of God’s will, the expression my prayer book uses.  

O is that what He meant?

It is interesting how some of our Lord’s sayings do not really hit home until you get older or at least that is how it is with me. 

The parable of the sower and the seed becomes more and more pertinent to me as I see friends who were so strong in their faith give up or just drift away. Only a few seem to be seeds fallen on fertile ground. With many it just seems they are distracted by ‘the cares of the world’ which is often a love of the good life in preference to the hard road that our Lord asks us to walk sometimes. 

I have just come back from Regents Park in London. It is a beautiful place and reminded me that God gave us the seed and Man the ability to tend the outcome’ There is a lovely section of the park with a mix of flowing water and plants. 

A friend of mine loves to photograph fashion shows and loves the mix of beautiful women  in their finery and all the razzamatazz of the cat walk. However, neither Solomon nor Kate Moss is arrayed like the model above. 

The s word

When I did my training in spiritual direction, attendance to talks would fade away to about 50 per cent attendance towards the end of term, however worthy the subject. A talk on sex was announced and there was full attendance. For the prurient the talk was a disappointment. Watching the film Yentl last night the old priest asks ‘where does strength come from? The student replies- from controlling his passions.’

Teaching on sex in the Western Christian tradition seems to range from the unhealthily repressive to the down right libertine. St Augustine, the wisest of men, does get a bit self punishing on the subject after the excesses of his youth ( blimey they were not that bad!! )

St John Chrysostom, from roughly the same time, seems far more balanced. He stresses the importance of remembering the human nature of Christ ( and the Church at his time was riven by heresy that did not. )

We know that at times life becomes a battlefield as the spiritual and the physical aspects struggle for supremacy. Yet it would be wrong to say that the spiritual aspect should defeat and destroy the physical; rather we want harmony between the two. Our physical wants and desires should not be ignored; rather they should be satisfied within the framework of morality which the spirit dictates. We should understand Christ in a similar way. It is not a question of his divine nature conquering and destroying his human nature; rather he revealed how human flesh and blood can live in perfect harmony with God.

Old school ties

I have a had a little exchange of emails lately about going to the school reunion. I have been to the last two but my problem is that not having really enjoyed secondary school, nor thrived there, and having had a bit of a checkered career I always feel a bit ill at ease. I listen to the stories of success and know what big pensions some of my old school pals are on. 

One particular boy I met barely acknowledged me although I went through primary and secondary school with him. He had done well in architecture and was obviously rather pleased with himself. God forgive me but I found him rather pompous.

I found the people who had struggled in life more interesting and especially those who had had some major setbacks like severe illness. They seemed more accessible and empathic. Even though they may not have had a walk of faith they had experienced suffering and therefore had the capacity to sympathise. Mercy cannot exist apart from suffering St Augustine wrote.

The dramatic changes that age has made to my old school colleagues reminded me of a  quote from that other theological heavyweight,  Bruce Willis ‘Life is hard and then you die.’

You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound Psalm 4.7

What's In A Face?

George Orwell famously said that at 50 a man has the face he deserves. This man could be twice that. I wonder what we can read into his life from his face. 

Point in time

I took this photo at the open air passion play in Trafalgar Square on Good Friday.  As I stood looking at the scene ( and a bit annoyed by people around who were disrespectful ) I had the not original thought that this is a depiction of the most important event in history. John Main has better words than me-

The cross is the great Christian symbol because its horizontal plane is intercepted by its  vertical plane and the Christian vision is not a denial of this life, not a denial of history or of time, but an openness to the great fact of history itself, that time has been intercepted by Christ’s love. This is the reality out of  which we must live. We can only live out of it if we ourselves are open to it in our inmost heart- not images, not imagined illusions, however holy, however religious, but the reality, the rock that is Christ. 

The Divine Greengrocer

I recently heard a talk on prayer. The speaker said that if are Christian faith is having an effect on our lives then we should be showing signs of that change. If we are not showing signs of ‘fruit’ then perhaps we should examine how real our faith is. 

These are the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Have an honest look and see if these ‘fruits are in your bowl.’ If you are really brave you could ask your spouse or best friend if they think you have them on your stall!!

love, 

joy, 

peace, 

patience, 

kindness, 

goodness, 

long suffering, 

mildness

Love me, love my dog!

The test of a good society is that the great majority are engaged in the basic arts, and only a few in the arts of luxury. When large numbers are engaged in producing luxuries for the rich, that society has become corrupt.
St John Chrysostom

The King and Us

One of the stories that has come out of these islands this week has been the finding of the remains of Richard the Third under a car park in Leicester. One wag claims Richard 3 now owes three and a half million pounds in parking fees. 

The monarchy no longer have the same power in Europe or elsewhere. Democratic governments we now claim are our strongholds and freedom a sort of totem. However, what happens when the majority are wrong? Moses came down from the mountain to find God’s people in revolt demanding gods not God. 

On the radio this morning I heard of a Lutheran church in Denmark who claim to be happy with the decision, presumably in Denmark ( it was in the early hours and I only heard the broadcast once ) to have same sex marriages. The reason for their contentment was that the congregation were agreed they were OK and that they the congregation were moving in the same direction as the citizenry of Denmark. 

People do have to make decisions and the Byzantine method of opening a page at random in scripture and finding what the verse says seems ludicrous to us now. 

However, the idea of making our decisions to be in line with the people as Aaron did seems equally madcap. Poor old Aaron was at gunpoint though ( had guns been invented!! )

I fear the freedom we claim in the West to be our strength could ultimately lead to our downfall.

Ironically, as Christians we are being called to spend eternity with a king and not a democratic government. 

Famous Faces

I recently watched a film called The Social Network about the college student who set up Facebook thus becoming the youngest billionaire. According to the film he had no social skills and could not find a girlfriend and had only one close friend who he double crossed in establishing the business.

I was reminded of some lines from Dr. Keith Ablow.

On Facebook, young people can fool themselves into thinking they have hundreds or thousands of “friends.” They can delete unflattering comments. They can block anyone who disagrees with them or pokes holes in their inflated self-esteem. They can choose to show the world only flattering, sexy or funny photographs of themselves (dozens of albums full, by the way), “speak” in pithy short posts and publicly connect to movie stars and professional athletes and musicians they “like.” 

My own problem with Facebook is that it turns friends into ‘potential customers.’ Also, a lapse of judgement can widely broadcast a comment you might not have made on second thoughts. I found this out recently to my cost and the cost of others.

The word has become a tiny place!!

Pride comes before a you know what!!

On my kitchen wall is a short dictum. The counsel thou wouldst have another keep, first keep it thyself. Yesterday, I was to meet my priest, who is a very personable younger man, for ‘preparation’ which is confession to you and me. I waited but could not see him. I was told he had had an accident injuring his foot and would not be there. I am not a great fan of confession so was not too disappointed. Coming from a Protestant background it is not easy for me to be so open about my failings. The Bible says we ‘should confess our sins one to another’ however the practical aspects of this are filled with problems not least of all ones of confidentiality. It is probably best we confide in someone we can trust, in private. The priest then represents the rest of the congregation perhaps. 

 A priest called John of Kronstadt did try open confession with all the congregation shouting out their sins. Let’s just say it did not catch on. Confession, however, is I have found good for the soul.

I went off to St Paul’s tube feeling a little cocky that this younger man had injured himself in his folie de jeunesse, ( sparing me the rigours of the sacrament ) ‘Didn’t look where he was going’ I thought to myself sagely.   

When I got to the tube it appeared that a Father Christmases’ convention was in full swing. There were Father and Mother Christmases everywhere. The guard at the barrier and I agreed such plurality of saints was confusing for children. Going down the escalator I saw a group of about fifteen Pa/Ma Christmases coming towards me on the up escalator. In my haste to take a photo I did not see that I had reached the bottom of the escalator and I was deposited unceremoniously on the hard floor. My camera was broken beyond repair. The photo is taken with the salvaged sim card. 

The dictum on my kitchen wall burned into my psyche!! 

Happy Christmas and thank you for bearing with me and my blogs in 2012!!

Daily reading

It is funny but sometimes the things you buy for the least money bring you most joy. I have a little booklet which cost pennies with the wisdom of St John of Kronstadt. He is a fairly modern saint ( born in early 19th Century ) and spent his ministry in the rough dock town of Kronstadt on the Baltic coast of Russia. His most famous book is My Life In Christ which I confess I have not read.  I try, however, to read the daily reading at church from this little book which has a month’s readings. 

Having had a fairly up and down employment record I had been hoping that a recent idea for work might prove more fruitful. I was trying to warm my heart in my prayers with this attachment when I read this.  St John reminded me there is only one security in this world. 

The whole world is but a cobweb in comparison to the Christian soul. Nothing in it is constant and sure. We cannot lean trustingly on anything; everything breaks. We must not cleave to anything with our heart except the one God. Who has spread out this cobweb, and Who supports it and gives it life. To whatever you attach yourself, except to God, everything wounds and oppresses the heart, whilst entire attachment to Him alone is life-giving. A month with St John of Kronstadt. Nov. 18

Love, honour and obey!!

A minister I once met told me on our first meeting that I should be obedient. I was not sure to whom or what and what he meant was, it appeared later, was that I should be odedient to him. I became subject to a certain amount of spiritual bondage and found myself working partly to build up that minister’s standing in the church. In spiritual bondage a more powerful personality thinks they can discern God’s will for another and makes them feel as if they should fall in line. If the recipient is young in the faith or vulnerable it can put them into a position of subservience. The person themselves may then think it is a legitimate way of influencing others.

Obedience in Scripture is linked more to faith than actions- Romans 1.5 and 6.26. Luther said that his followers could be influenced by him but eventually would stand alone before God. I have had a leader suggest that he could hold sway with God for me.

To avoid this practice I now stay away from non aligned churches or churches where the leadership is not accountable. However, even in mainstream churches spiritual bondage can be practiced. In cults it is almost de rigeur. The Children in God cult which started innocently enough ended up practising among other things ‘hooking for Jesus’ ie women members would have sexual relations with men to win them over to the ‘faith.’

Saint Ignatius of Loyola annotated a system by which God may speak to us through our heart and mind. Coercion is nowhere mentioned. In speaking to Elijah God spoke not through the earthquake or fire but the gentle whisper. If someone tries to tell you they know God’s will for you you might like to give them a taste of the earthquake! In love of course.

Keeping It Simple

I often hear about churches that try and get back to the early Church model. One can understand why sometimes. There must be disenchantment when another piece of corruption within the Church gets into the news. The massive infrastructure of the Church with all the trappings of power must confuse some. However, institutions do evolve. 

I was once in a church that modeled itself on the early Church format with a system of elders and deacons. It was a very caring church and by and large the structure worked.

However, it experienced the same kind of manning problems that the early church did ( Acts 6 ) in that the leaders did not have time to do everything. Certain people became overstretched. The answer in these situations seems to be to delegate certain people to be specialists while others might have to stick to more menial tasks. 

The church I am thinking about decided to have a pastor! Shock, horror!! He did not last long. The church dispensed with this office and went back to an eldership. 

The last I head the church had adopted a more ‘rock praise’ worship format. More shock, horror!

The simple truth is that organisations do evolve and while it is easy to parody the fixtures, fittings and formats of the mainstream churches they have often come by having for example a priest or a minister through simple evolution. 

An organism that does not grow is perhaps not alive.  

Living Well and Dying better

The writer Zola in his book the Debacle writes of the French soldiers dying from their wounds in the Franco Prussian war being berated by an officer to ‘die like men.’

Yesterday, I went to the memorial service of a man I had not seen for a long time who had been seriously ill for a long period and eventually passed away. He was in his early sixties.

The tributes made me think how well he had lived and how well he had died. 

A pastor declared how he had lived and died a Christian. It was not the usual tribute cobbled together by the family and read out by a minister who had not even met the deceased.

Two things struck me. His children said how he had been a friend and a father. He had left his children prepared for the world and with a positive image of a father not as a tyrant or conversely just a ‘money tree.’ If they choose to follow the Christian faith it is their own decision but they can not say they wanted for guidance or an example.

The other thing I heard was that in his last days the man listened to hours of tapes by a favourite preacher. The dying man was preparing for eternity not reminding himself of his achievements or bewailing lost opportunities. I have spent time with people who realise they are very ill and I have known some who want to quickly finish off a project or make sure their possessions go to the right place. This man did make arrangements for his projects to be stored but he also made arrangements for others to benefit by them.

An old mystic I once read said we should not run from the time left and try and do as much as we can but rather we should advance towards it. 

Thomas Gray’s elegy of a country churchyard tells of what a great leveler death is. The poor, the unknown and famous all lie in the same patch of earth. I like to think this verse describes Paul Clowney. 

Large was his bounty, and his soul sincere

Heaven did a recompense as largely send:

He gave to Misery all he had, a tear

He gained from Heaven ( ‘twas all he wished ) a friend

Days and confused

Today I did something silly. I thought it was Saturday when in fact it was only Friday. I got into my Saturday routine and wondered why a radio programme that has run for decades was not on. I rang a pal and found I was a day out.

I am I confess fascinated with these quirks of time: Phineas Fogg gains a day in Around the World in 80 Days, Sam Tyler in Life On Mars goes back forty years and Bill Murray keeps waking to the same day in Groundhog Days.

Days, the poet Philip Larkin said, are what we live in.  

When we are young time seems a limitless commodity but as we age we realise there is only so much time left ‘in the bottle.’ 

An old mystic said we should walk towards time and embrace eternity.  Our Lord  said we should use the time wisely as the days are evil.  Maybe Our Lord appreciated better the brevity of our physical lives. He also knew how are lives would end as in the case of Peter

( John 21.18 )As the parable of man who lays up for the future ( Luke 12.19 ) shows us we are not privy to when we will be called to give account of our lives. 

As in most of life a balance is needed. I have known two workaholics and sadly both died tragically young. A slower pace would have been better for both. I am sure we all know those who seem to have wasted their days. We must be saddened not judgemental I think. 

O, yes, but having an day  did give me time to write this blog.

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